How Can Art Be a Bridge to the World?


CRU STORYLINES

words by

Caroline Colby-Gonzalez, Rebecca Kelsall

photos by

Tom Mills

published in

DECEMBER 2017

Caroline Colby-Gonzalez—a Christian and a painter—works for Transform, an art ministry of Cru®. She discusses her journey toward recognizing art as a worthy vocation that worships God.

Photo Using short strokes of a watercolor brush pen, Caroline paints a series of flowers at the Kauffman Memorial Garden in Kansas City, Missouri.

I start off with a blank sheet of paper and pick up my pen.

From the first moment I picked up a crayon, I was drawing.

Doodling in my mom’s planner, I drew everything from Barbies to people to Pokémon. The act of creating gave me great joy.

I’ve loved art for as long as I can remember, and I’ve walked with Jesus for just as long.

One night before bed, my mom, a Christian, read the story of Jesus calming the waves of the Sea of Galilee. I realized then that Jesus was no mere human. So at 8 years old, I prayed and gave my life to the only human whose actions proved His equality with God.

During this time, my mom called on Jesus as we weathered our own storm as a family. As a daughter of an alcoholic diagnosed with bipolar, my life seemed as tumultuous as the lives of Jesus’ disciples in the New Testament.

Although we prayed that my father would choose healing and repentance, as the years went by, circumstances grew worse. I became less hopeful and more anxious.

In the midst of this, a silver lining of art and friendships with other artists emerged. Art became a way to cry out to God and others for help and hope. And through it, I felt known and loved through those friends God had provided.

Photo Caroline doodled in her mother’s planner as a child, and now sketches on her own planner and to-do lists. Above is a sketch of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo.

Eventually, however, crushed by the weight of family trauma and the void it left, I threw myself into a sexual relationship, hoping it would offer me the love I desired.

Instead, the dissonance between professing Christ and seeing my sin as a repetition of the dysfunction of my parents’ marriage was too much. I contemplated suicide.

But the Lord used my mom and others to show me that my story didn’t have to end that way. I cried out into the void of that dark, stormy sea—and God answered.

That boyfriend broke up with me, and at 20, I sought the only source of love that promises to make me whole. Since then, God continues to show me His love for me through His Word and through believers.

Photo Caroline (left) works alongside Maddy Parker, another resident artist with Transform, an arts ministry of Cru®, in Kansas City.
Photo Transform organizes an ongoing gallery exhibit where local artists can showcase their work and connect with other artists.

Pen in hand, I imagine a figure in my mind with lines and curves. My pen traces that outline.

In 2010, I moved to Miami, Florida, to study fine arts at Florida International University. I desired to make art about the redemption I had found in Jesus. But it wasn’t that simple.

At FIU, one Christian student painted a Bible and two trees representing righteousness and sin. During her class presentation, she said the Bible is truth and Jesus is the only way to God. While her message was true, her delivery pushed fellow students away. After that, some professors took out their frustrations on me, thinking I’d act like this student.

“We’ve had 2,000 years of Christian art,” one professor told me during a portfolio review. “We don’t need a day more.”

Photo Caroline spends time at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City for inspiration in her own work.

At the same time, I encountered some Christians who didn’t value art. They believed I poured my hard work into an unnecessary vocation. And they were suspicious of the bohemian lifestyle associated with artists.

So I considered giving up my art to become a missionary, because art, compared to evangelism, seemed like a waste of time to the church.

At worst, being an artist could lead me to compromise my faith, I thought. At best, art could only be meaningful if it had a religious function.

But God had another plan.

Photo

I trade my pen for a paint brush and squeeze out globs of paint, gently dipping the brush in the colorful puddles.

In 2013, I went on a life-changing Cru summer mission trip to New York City with 13 other artists. The students on the trip possessed great talent and placed their hope in Christ. This propelled me further in my craft, showing me that art and missions could work together.

At my church in Miami, I realized that God can use my vocation to point people toward Christ. The church sent me to Kansas City, Missouri, to develop as an artist, because they believed in the intrinsic worth, beauty and goodness of art.

So in 2016, I began my residency with Transform, an arts ministry of Cru, continuing my painting projects and loving my neighbors in Kansas City as an ambassador of Christ.

Photo Caroline’s husband, Sergio (second from left), leads a weekly Bible study with Caroline (second from right). While she is a resident with Transform, he works and takes seminary classes.

Transform director Leigh Ann Dull says, “Transform is about whole development—artistic, spiritual, leadership and civic.” The mission of Transform is to “inspire artists by engaging with and creating a culture to authentically represent Christ in the world of art, media and entertainment.”

God has used my art and story in Transform to heal my wounds and to provide a bridge between two worlds.

As a recently married woman, my art has focused on reclaiming human sexuality and intimacy in its proper context and on how earthly marriage is a humble, imperfect image of our union with Christ, a picture of the church’s relationship with Him.

Not only do I display my faith through my art, but I also have opportunities to bring people nearer to God. I teach a children’s after-school art class and encourage other Christians.

Photo In their final class of the year, Caroline created a hallway gallery, in which children presented their work while others asked questions.
Photo In teaching after-school art classes, Caroline and Transform director Leigh Ann Dull (at right) help children see the value of art and communication.

But one of the most enjoyable things I do is build relationships with other artists.

Many artists are familiar with Christianity, but are either spiritually uninterested or antagonistic. Transform exists in both the Christian sphere and the art sphere, bridging that gap.

One artist tells me he doesn’t dislike Christians, but he sees Jesus only as a good moral teacher. Another says she has no desire to return to Christianity because of her upbringing. Yet we’ve continued to build a friendship.

Working with these artists gives me opportunities to build relationships. We have common ground. We speak the same language.

Photo Artist and photographer Kelly Kruse (left), a fellow Christ-follower, meets with Caroline. Caroline spends time with fellow artists to talk about faith and art.

I transfer the paint onto the paper, shrouding the figure in a mist of pastel hues.

Other Christians can minister to artists, too. Because God created everything in heaven and earth, our work reflects His creativity.

Photo

Artists appreciate when others approach them about their work. Ask them questions. Listen and learn. Get to know them. If Christ is the lover of their souls, He will come out in their art. And the art that results changes people’s lives and influences the world.

I step back, and there lies a body with olive complexion surrounded by color—I’m painting me.

I am Caroline Colby-Gonzalez, a Christian and an artist in Kansas City.

Photo Caroline captures the beauty of flowers in the Kauffman Memorial Garden. While taking on different themes, Caroline’s work explores ways to tackle relevant topics and help people to know God.

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